-AKA
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BengalsGM: /shuffles papers

BengalsGM: Mr. Henry, please come in.
**ONLINE HOST** OffFieldIncident has rolled into the chatroom in an enormous SUV with a 5 gallon bag of doritos.

BengalsGM: Mr. Henry, have a seat, I have some news for you.

OffFieldIncident: yo man I already gots a seat right here in da escalade

BengalsGM: /clears throat

BengalsGM: Well, all right. Mr. Henry, after careful deliberation…

OffFieldIncident: /munches loudly

BengalsGM: The Bengals have decided to let you go.

OffFieldIncident: .

OffFieldIncident: .

OffFieldIncident: WHA

OffFieldIncident: /burps

OffFieldIncident: yo man whaddafuck?!

OffFieldIncident: how can u DO this shit ta me

BengalsGM: Well, see Mr. Henry, the thing is

OffFieldIncident: i had 21 receptions last year man, i still gots mah fuckin antwaan randle handles

OffFieldIncident: there aint no problem ya dig

BengalsGM: Mr. Henry, you had more erections than receptions last year. That’s a problem.

OffFieldIncident: well ye o course, gods meat needs ta get cooked every once in a while

OffFieldIncident: it just needs tha right seasonin

BengalsGM: You have had over 10 different legal problems in the last 3 years.

BengalsGM: The Bengals have decided it is best for the organization to stop financing your battles with strip club poles, and focus on getting talent elsewhere.

BengalsGM: We're afraid you're actually going to shoot someone again.

OffFieldIncident: yo i gots mah rights to wave mah metal dick around wheneva da fuck i want

BengalsGM: Goodbye, Mr. Henry.

OffFieldIncident: fuck
**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the Bengals Locker Room.

OffFieldIncident: damn i wont even have no locker no more

OffFieldIncident: gotta fuckin clean it out befo they give it ta sum twinklefaced rookie wit his dick tucked up his ass

OffFieldIncident: /looks at locker

OffFieldIncident: ima need a goddamn u-haul truck fa this

OffFieldIncident: /opens locker
**ONLINE HOST** The entire artillery of a small African nation has collapsed out of the locker in a giant heap, along with a year’s supply of sun chips.

OffFieldIncident: ma babies

OffFieldIncident: /sniffs

OffFieldIncident: /wipes tear with AK-47
**ONLINE HOST** DudeYourCarsonFire has entered the chatroom.

DudeYourCarsonFire: hey chris you want to play catch and HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT STUFF

OffFieldIncident: naw dude its chill dont worry bout it

OffFieldIncident: im just packin up mah oozies is all

OffFieldIncident: im not gonna be chillin round these parts no more

DudeYourCarsonFire: er ok have fun playing gears of war with the laundry hamper

DudeYourCarsonFire: I’m going to go find housh and play an innocent game of hide-and-seek

DudeYourCarsonFire: just don’t shoot me
**ONLINE HOST** DudeYourCarsonFire has bolted from the chatroom.

OffFieldIncident: aights i gots ta leave mah mark here somehows

OffFieldIncident: /places 5 gallon sun chip bag on giant altar

OffFieldIncident: wait it needs some a that chris henry touch

OffFieldIncident: /urinates on it

OffFieldIncident: now its REALLY a sun chip
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