"Pick"- Your Poison

Regardless of the draft order, the Patriots have the 7th pick, and therefore have mathematically clinched a playoff spot for the next 13 years.

-AKA

Photos link to player pages.

**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the NFL Headquarters chatroom.


Commish_Is_Wise: My fellow NFL owners, moneymakers, and Hispanic janitors, I have an important announcement to make.



Commish_Is_Wise: /swigs michelob light



Commish_Is_Wise: Because the Chiefs, Falcons, and Raiders all equally suck, and because I’m too drunk off my ass to devise a better system,




Commish_Is_Wise: We are going to coin flip for the 3rd draft spot.




Commish_Is_Wise: /slaps table enthusiastically




Commish_Is_Wise: /resumes drinking





ManReferee: Will the team captains from each team please come forward for the coin flip.


**ONLINE HOST** LarryTheStableGuy has entered the room.
**ONLINE HOST** DeAngelODeath has entered the room.



ManReferee: …






ManReferee: We still need a representative from the Raiders.






ManReferee: I may be forced to call a delay of game here if



**ONLINE HOST** MyChemicalRomanowski has crashed into the room, pulling the burning wreckage of 20 battered brick walls behind him.


MyChemicalRomanowski: GROAAR




MyChemicalRomanowski: I AM HERE TO DEVOUR YOUR DRAFT PICKS



MyChemicalRomanowski: THEN WASTE THEM ON BACKUP OFFENSIVE LINEMEN FASTER THAN TERRY BRADSHAW CAN BULLSHIT ON NATIONAL TV



LarryTheStableGuy: blech i should have known Al Davis would send us another loony




DeAngelODeath: ye can we just get on with this?





DeAngelODeath: i have an important interception to drop, so lets hurry this shit up





ManReferee: Ok guys, I want a nice fair flip here, so shake hands guys.





LarryTheStableGuy: /shakes





DeAngelODeath: /shakes





MyChemicalRomanowski: /pummels aggressively





ManReferee: Close enough.






ManReferee: There are two sides to this coin: The helmet is heads, and the NFL logo is tails.





ManReferee: Call it in the air.






ManReferee: /flips coin





DeAngelODeath: heads





LarryTheStableGuy: tails





MyChemicalRomanowski: HUNGRY


**ONLINE HOST** MyChemicalRomanowski has gained administrative privileges.
**ONLINE HOST** MyChemicalRomanowski has molded the coin into the shape of a syringe.



ManReferee: Er, “hungry” is not a valid side of a coin.





MyChemicalRomanowski: /injects




MyChemicalRomanowski: YOUR FACE IS NOT A VALID SIDE OF A COIN




MyChemicalRomanowski: /swats ManReferee to remote African village




Commish_Is_Wise: I think we have our winner!




Commish_Is_Wise: /makes “incomplete” signal by waving arms spontaneously



Commish_Is_Wise: Now THAT’S what I call a genuine draft.

The Thrilling Conquest Of Brett Favre

Without Brett Favre, John Madden would most likely be a straight man. And I'd be out of half my jokes.

-AKA

Photos link to player pages.

**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the Green Bay Packers chatroom.



AgeBeFarveBeauty: Ok children, who wants to hear a story from the old days?!





Taken4Grant_ed: Ooh ooh I do I do!





SexuAl_Harrisment: i want one!






Bubbalicious: BUBBA FRANKS






AgeBeFarveBeauty: Er sonny, does that mean yes?





Bubbalicious: BUBBA FRANKS







AgeBeFarveBeauty: I’ll take that as an “ok”




Bubbalicious: BUBBAAAAA






AgeBeFarveBeauty: Shut your piehole, I’m going to tell a story





AgeBeFarveBeauty: Donald, fetch me my dentures





Designated_Driver: /heaves vinegary substance vaguely resembling teeth






AgeBeFarveBeauty: /tweaks shoulder





AgeBeFarveBeauty: /plays anyway





AgeBeFarveBeauty: So I was once a young whippersnapper…





Taken4Grant_ed: What, like when jesus was in third grade?





AgeBeFarveBeauty: No interruptions!





AgeBeFarveBeauty: Damn you young kids with your disco music and war protest songs, always interrupting us disciplined old folks




AgeBeFarveBeauty: So anyways, I was a youngun…



**ONLINE HOST** You have entered circa 20000 B.C.




LandBeFarveTime: I was a fit young man with no injury problems







LandBeFarveTime: I was the strongest warrior in the viliage, I could bench press a 3000 pound woolly mammoth





SexuAl_Harrisment: lol so basically you hoisted warren sapp every day






AgeBeFarveBeauty: Shut it!






LandBeFarveTime: But there was trouble brewing…




**ONLINE HOST** MyChemicalRomanowski has crashed into the room.



MyChemicalRomanowski: GROOOOOOAAAR




MyChemicalRomanowski: I DEMAND A SACRIFICE




MyChemicalRomanowski: THREE OF YOUR PLUMPEST RAMS




Pacemaker: weak sauce





MyChemicalRomanowski: TWO CHOICEST MAIDENS, AND




MyChemicalRomanowski: AW SCREW ALL THE BIBLICAL SHIT




MyChemicalRomanowski: JUST GIMME A HEAD COACH




Bardi_Favors: eek someone save me





Bardi_Favors: /wins championship






LandBeFarveTime: Something had to be done, and I was just the man to do it







LandBeFarveTime: I could, after all, lift john madden after a buffet dinner




**ONLINE HOST** Madden08 has entered the room.




Madden08: You see, if you eat a large buffet dinner, you're probably






Madden08: probably






Madden08: going to gain some weight.



**ONLINE HOST** Madden08 has left the room.



AgeBeFavreBeauty: NOT the time John.







LandBeFarveTime: Anyway, I girded up my loins and hurried up my offense






MyChemicalRomanowski: IM WAITING




MyChemicalRomanowski: /munches steroids





LandBeFarveTime: Ok Mr. Romanowski, here’s your peace offering







LandBeFarveTime: /heaves loaded syringe






MyChemicalRomanowski: /anally injects




MyChemicalRomanowski: AHH THATS THE STUFF





LandBeFarveTime: Haha jokes on you, Mr. Romanowski







LandBeFarveTime: That syringe was loaded with Botox







LandBeFarveTime: I took it from some poor soul in Cleveland




**ONLINE HOST** RomeoWhereArtWinsRomeo has entered the room.




RomeoWhereArtWinsRomeo: Goddammit where are my cheek fatteners




**ONLINE HOST** RomeoWhereArtWinsRomeo has left the room.



MyChemicalRomanowski: /swells buttocks




MyChemicalRomanowski: CHRIST ALMIGHTY I LOOK LIKE J-LO


**ONLINE HOST** MyChemicalRomanowski has embarrassingly tiptoed out of the room.



AgeBeFarveBeauty: And so you have it, I saved the world from a terrible beast, and we went on to win the Super Bowl in 1996.





AgeBeFarveBeauty: Any comments?




**ONLINE HOST** Dead silence has filled the room.



Bubbalicious: BEWARE THA BUBBA TRUBBA