Cowboy Up

Terrell Owens has more emotion than any opera singer I've ever seen.

-AKA

Photos link to player pages.

NOTE: this means that if you don't know what a screen name means, click the player's photo!!! It takes you to a page with their name and stats on it, so you can get the joke and not look like a retard in front of your football friends.


**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the Dallas Cowboys Press Conference chatroom.


Media: Mr. Romo! Mr. Romo! Is it true you suck?





RomoSapien: NO!





Media: Mr. Romo! Mr. Romo! Doesn’t your name rhyme with homo?





RomoSapien: well yes but





Media: So therefore don’t you suck…cock?





RomoSapien: only jessica simpson's





RomoSapien: er





RomoSapien: ANYWAY, lets give a big hand to my main man all this season, Terrell Owens!


**ONLINE HOST** WordUpTO_me has entered the room.


WordUpTO_me: hey all yall crackalakin playa beatin newspaper honkle-donks





WordUpTO_me: TO’s just so





WordUpTO_me: so





WordUpTO_me: aw dammit man hes just so overcome





WordUpTO_me: /sobs





RomoSapien: its all my fault





RomoSapien: i threw the ball every play and went out with a stupid blonde chick





RomoSapien: im such a dumbass





WordUpTO_me: /blows nose





RomoSapien: /blows game





WordUpTO_me: this just aint fair man





WordUpTO_me: we worked harder than pacman jones in a strip club and now
lookit here




WordUpTO_me: we had nothin ta fear





WordUpTO_me: but the giants kick us in the rear





WordUpTO_me: were fuckin worse than any tampa bay buccaneer





RomoSapien: i should just look forward to next season and all the tidings of great joy it should bring us




RomoSapien: at least this was better than 2006



**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the 2006 Dallas Cowboys chatroom.


Parcell_Post: GODDAMMIT TERRELL STOP FLAUNTING YOUR JUNK AND CATCH THE DAMN BALL




Parcell_Post: MY GRANDMA RUNS BETTER ROUTES THAN YOU AND SHES LYING IN A COFFIN IN KENTUCKY




RomoSapien: er coach?





RomoSapien: /fumbles extra point





Parcell_Post: There, there, Tony, it’s ok, it’s ok. You want candy?





WordUpTO_me: i want candy





Parcell_Post: I WASN'T ASKING YOU





Parcell_Post: Tony, you need anything special, you let me know.





RomoSapien: no coach seriously, im fine





RomoSapien: /continuously throws interceptions





WordUpTO_me: hey coach i want





Parcell_Post: TERRELL STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A CONSTIPATED WEASEL.




Parcell_Post: GO ABUSE A POM POM OR SOMETHING

The Good, The Bad, And The Fuckin Annoying Blondes

Yes, we all saw this one coming. Say "platymapus" three times fast.

-AKA

Photos link to player pages.



JessicaSkimpy_son: WOO WOO I love you guys, Cowboys!





JessicaSkimpy_son: Especially that hunk tony romo, the frickin sexiest bf in the world!





LadyCheerleader: hey hey lady, whats going on here






JessicaSkimpy_son: Just cheering on my team and its adorable qb!





JessicaSkimpy_son: /flips hair






LadyCheerleader: well miss, I’m awfully sorry to break it to you, but it’s my job to cheer for the cowboys






LadyCheerleader: let me show you how it’s done







LadyCheerleader: /pom-pom dance






JessicaSkimpy_son: That’s nothing, ma’am. Go home and shove that pom-pom up your butt. This is Jessica Simpson territory.




JessicaSkimpy_son: This is how you’re SUPPOSED to do it.





JessicaSkimpy_son: /accentuates blondeness





JessicaSkimpy_son: /believes Wal-mart actually sells walls





JessicaSkimpy_son: /believes K-mart actually sells the letter “K”






LadyCheerleader: god almighty hide my over-makeuped eyes




**ONLINE HOST** WordUpTO_me has entered the room.



WordUpTO_me: exceeeeeuse me ladies, but yall dont know how its done in these parts


**ONLINE HOST** WordUpTO_me wants to directly connect.

**ONLINE HOST** WordUpTO_me has directly connected.

WordUpTO_me:

JessicaSkimpy_son: Thaat was uggggllyyyy lameo








JessicaSkimpy_son: Liek worse than rooming with paris hilton








JessicaSkimpy_son: At least she had booze when she decided to celebrate something







WordUpTO_me: well fine ladies, if you dont want the TO show to blo ya hizzle to the flo, i can peddle my wares elsewheres





**ONLINE HOST** RomoSapien has entered the room.





WordUpTO_me: o hey tony








RomoSapien: hey TO









RomoSapien: /spots JessicaSkimpy_son









RomoSapien: hey there loviedoviewuvie etc.









RomoSapien: /touchdown pass









JessicaSkimpy_son: hey oodledoodlebuddlebumpkin etc.








RomoSapien: come closer, let me do what nick lachey never did









RomoSapien: /fondle









WordUpTO_me: o lord this is gonna be worse than the time john madden found brett favre walkin on an empty street







WordUpTO_me: that was a sack if i ever seen one








RomoSapien: /has worst statistical game of career









JessicaSkimpy_son: hee hee i was “in this skin” if you know what i mean








WordUpTO_me: WTF bitch u fucked up tony








WordUpTO_me: now who is gonna throw me my 4 weekly td passes








RomoSapien: /dazed and confused









JessicaSkimpy_son: Go screw yourself Terrell; you’re no match for my super-blonde powers!







JessicaSkimpy_son: /confuses chicken of the sea with actual chicken








WordUpTO_me: aw shit i betta haul ass








WordUpTO_me: to the brat-mobile!






**ONLINE HOST** WordUpTO_me has left the room.