Some Needed Motivation

Who would win in a fight: Santa Claus or Al Davis?
Al Davis, because he'd get Bill Romanowski to fight for him.

-AKA

Photos link to player pages.

**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the Raiders Weekly Gameplan chatroom.




GeriALtric: Ok coacheszzz, here is our gameplan for the weekszzz.







GeriALtric: /snores







GeriALtric: As you know, we play on Sunday against the Tennessee Oilerszzz





YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: Actually we’re playing the Broncos, the Oilers became the Titans about 10 years ago





GeriALtric: Quiet, you young whippersnapperszzz, I can’t hear myself think







GeriALtric: Our objective this week will be to throw the ball to Randy Mosszzz







GeriALtric: For a few touchdownszzzzzzzzzz







GeriALtric: /falls asleep




**ONLINE HOST** Two hours later…


YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: er three questions here




YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: One, should I wake him up?




YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: Two, isn’t randy moss on the patriots now?




YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: Three, shouldn't Mr. Davis have died about 30 years ago?





JamarcusRussellTerrier: yes coach, ABSOLUTELY right






YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: Uh for which question?




JamarcusRussellTerrier: absolutely coach, 110% behind you here






JamarcusRussellTerrier: whatever you do, it won’t change our relationship one bit



YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: What in the world is he on about? Has he been taking pot from Ricky Williams?





SappyRomanceNovel: no hes been groveling and sucking up to you all week so he can earn the starting job



YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: Oh






SappyRomanceNovel: you might have to consider making him qb






SappyRomanceNovel: Daunte Culpepper just hasnt been himself lately






HotSalt_n_Culpepper: /scrambles out of pocket






HotSalt_n_Culpepper: /throws interception






SappyRomanceNovel: oh never mind i guess he has been himself




YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: What in the hell am I gonna do?






GeriALtric: /wakes up







GeriALtric: Never fear, faithful Raiderszzz







GeriALtric: We have a commitment to excellencszzz







GeriALtric: All we need is some motivation for our playerszzz







GeriALtric: As you youngunszzz say, “I’ve got it covered”







Porterbello: im pretty sure that phrase was created in about 1873






GeriALtric: I have found someone to make you fellowszzz fiery and furiouszzz







GeriALtric: /passes out

/creates head-shaped indentation in table



YouveBeenKiffinTheNuts: Oh god, I wonder who the motivation is






Ert_Gallery: ooh ooh I hope it’s a hot playboy playmate for me to blow more of my first-round draft pick money on





Porterbello: nah its probably just a World War I pamphlet with drool on it



**ONLINE HOST** The earth has started quaking, playbooks have fallen off the table.




Porterbello: ok, im pretty sure my guess is wrong



**ONLINE HOST** The door to Raiders Headquarters has been blown wide open, leaving a 78-foot crack in the wall.

**ONLINE HOST** MyChemicalRomanowski has rumbled into the chatroom.



MyChemicalRomanowski: GROOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRR




MyChemicalRomanowski: /munches steroids




MyChemicalRomanowski: TERRY TATE SHALL BE A CREAMPUFF COMPARED TO ME




SappyRomanceNovel: EEK






SappyRomanceNovel: /inhales hamburger in fear

One Stronger Than The Safety He Played

Even though The Sideline is meant to be funny, there are times when life is not so funny. We do not mean to offend anyone by this entry, just to enlighten the mood of a very somber event. We offer tribute to a fallen warrior, Sean Taylor. May he rest in peace.

-AKA and Ben


Photos link to player pages.





WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: /passes on



**ONLINE HOST** You have entered the Hall O’ Deathlies chatroom.




WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: where, where am I?



**ONLINE HOST** AIM is not responding.




WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: well I may as well just sit here and wait






WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: /interception



**ONLINE HOST** LetsGetReadyToDumble has entered the chatroom out of the mist.


LetsGetReadyToDumble: Sean, you wonderful wonderful boy, come walk with me.





WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: er alright then






WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: promise me you won’t make me see those pictures you took with Jeff Garcia



LetsGetReadyToDumble: Yes, don’t worry, my magic wand has already cleansed his chamber of secrets





WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: oh god






WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: too much info




LetsGetReadyToDumble: Anyway, you were a brave man. You gave up your life in sacrifice for the well-being of your family.



LetsGetReadyToDumble: You are not just a football player, you were a role-model.



LetsGetReadyToDumble: You turned around your life, and accepted responsibility.



LetsGetReadyToDumble: Many muggles would have just quit, you carried on.




LetsGetReadyToDumble: Your family is not the only one mourning.




LetsGetReadyToDumble: Hopefully we can all learn from your actions, Sean
Taylor.



LetsGetReadyToDumble: /fades into mist



**ONLINE HOST** LetsGetReadyToDumble has left the chatroom.




WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: so where do I go now anyway?



**ONLINE HOST** You have entered Washington Redskins Heaven chatroom.




WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: um I haven’t moved



**ONLINE HOST** Yes, you are in sort of a limbo.

**ONLINE HOST** The Redskins were never great or horrible, just sort of…mediocre.

**ONLINE HOST** You will float in mist for eternity unless they stop finishing 7-9 and trading 4th round draft picks for backup offensive linemen.




WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: aw poop






WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: I wish I was on the raiders






WhatSeanWeDoWithACrunkinTaylor: then I’d have god on my side, at least



**ONLINE HOST** FreemanAlmighty has entered the room.




FreemanAlmighty: CHECK MY BLACK HOLE BITCHEZZ




RIP Man